Home Sweet Home


“Have you ever done it on a flight?” asked my adventurous, philanderer friend. “No”, I replied and added “I think it is only pretentious people who are stupid enough to do it on a flight.”. “Have you tried it??” I asked. Surprise o’ surprise he said “Yes” and to add to it he found it to be a different experience. Needless to say he convinced me to try it once.

So heeding his advice here I am sitting up at 18000 feet up in the sky and for the very first time whipping out my laptop and writing an article. I am on the flight to Ahmedabad back to college after a sweet little honeymoon in Chennai and a week of holidaying in my hometown Trivandrum.

So how was my first time doing it on the flight? Not bad, except for a minor headache caused partly by the popping of my ear which usually happens to me at high altitude in flights and partly by trying to write on a laptop in a bumpy flight. But I think I will continue writing for some more time.

You know, for the past 8-9 years I have been like a visitor in my own home. I come home twice in a year, each for about a week to 10 days. Four years of engineering, three years of working and a year of MBA has transformed me into this fleeting guest who will come for a week have a jolly time, enjoy home food and then go back. So this time I thought I will share with you how my typical visit home goes about.

This time I had come home for a 6 day visit. I last came home in December 2005. So my mom was eagerly awaiting my arrival and she had called my aunts (her sisters) and my chutku cousins (yeah they are really small, all more than 15 years my junior.) for lunch. I reach home by 1:30 in the afternoon and pandemonium breaks loose. (Yes that happens with me all the time, I think it has something to do with my “aura”). Well people are shooting me down left right and centre. My cousins want to know what I have got for them, my aunties are lamenting about how thin I have become and my uncles are asking about my course and the summer training I had finished. But I just look around and there in one corner my sweet old mom is sitting with a big smile on her face, happy that I have finally arrived, I just go over and hug her.

So its party time everybody knows that when I come all hell will break loose it is time for movies, outings and parties. But this time around my cousins are mad because their school just reopened, my brother has his exams around the corner (He is doing his MBBS and I pray to the Almighty that he does not become a fraud doctor the same way I became a fraud engineer.)

After a smashing lunch (I think I gorged so much that I had trouble breathing because my trachea was full of food), it was time for me to go to my other aunt’s place to meet my grandmother. My grandmother started off on her usual banter about how she wanted me to get married as soon as I finish my MBA and I slipped away before my aunties joined in with my granny.

The one problem about coming to Trivandrum for a week specially when you have loads and loads of relatives is that you get tired of visiting each and every one and going for dinner at every place, I try to avoid these stuff except for my close relatives where I wouldn’t have to put on a false smile and be the nice little sweet boy.

Then there is the usual trip to Quilon which is 70 kms from Trivandrum. The deal is that my folks were in Quilon for 25 years before shifting to Trivandrum so they have all their bank dealings and stuff there and every time I have to make this trip there to put my valuable signature on bank forms and file my tax returns once a year with our family chartered accountant there.

So I take out my dad’s car and after the usual round of dos and don’t, actually more of don’ts (Don’t speed over 80, don’t sleep off while driving, don’t play the music too loud etc etc), I set off all alone. You know how they over romanticize the highway drive and make you want for the wind in your hair and one on one with the nature stuff, let me tell u I enjoy driving while I have some company but not when you are the sole person in the car and you have nothing to do except drive, drive and drive. It’s a lonely drive and as the speedometer touches 90, my only thought is damn I have to be back before the French Open matches for the day start.

One more routine during my visit is to visit my relatives who live near Kanyakumari (that’s about 70 kms again from my place). Usually it is a family trip but this time around I had to make the trip alone with one of my aunties who was going for a marriage there. So the conversation between my mom and my aunty regarding this trip goes something like this.

Mom to aunty “Since you are going for the marriage we thought that Venky could accompany you and visit his uncle there”
Aunty to mom “ That would be great, we were thinking of hiring a chauffer for the trip, now that Venky is coming there would be no need for that”
Me to Myself “Ya right I have become the family driver, and now if I don’t get a job out of IIMA I at least have something to fall back upon”
So I become their chauffer for the day and make the trip in their car.

But all is not lost during this six days packed with visiting relatives (At this point one advice for all of you don’t let your parents settle down where there are a lot of relatives nearby), finishing off bank work and other stuff. I manage to catch three movies in the theatre and have a nice family get together and managed to store up some sleep in advance before I go back to the sleepless days in college.

Before I could blink my holiday is over and I am packing my stuff and haggling with my sweet mom “Ma no more packets of sweet and chips, my bag is already full and there is a weight limit on the flight”. (I have become so accustomed to carrying overweight luggage that this time I managed 33 kilos of luggage on a flight with a 15 kilo check in and 10 kilo cabin weight limit without paying extra. How I did it? It’s a trade secret which will be let out only for a fee…I can just abt imagine the look on my friend from IIMC who paid 770 bucks extra for carrying 26 kilos of luggage)

So that ends my visit home this time and since the air hostess is standing on the top of my head asking me to shutdown the laptop as it is time for landing. I end this article here but not before letting you know that however jam packed my visits home are, I am already missing home and sure want to make the trip back soon.

PS: I am now back in college and having set up my room am posting this article